Who I Am

During the night, once again, I was asking for help to recognize and experience Who I Am. Every vision that I could conger up was of a separation between what I have known to be my reality on earth and what I want to experience of My Father’s World. I wanted nothing more to do with 3rd density Earth existence. I wanted completely away from it. I wanted it wiped from my memory, GONE!
But I noticed that I kept going back to what I had enjoyed here and I thought for a long time about my life with my husband, the joys that I have had with my girls, Jekyll Island, even ‘worshiping’ God, even though that required a permission slip to see My Father as a separate being from myself, which in actuality I do have an individual essence of a sort, at least that is my understanding. At any rate I So Enjoyed Worship and Praise and the feeling of unity with My Father.
I thought about the talks that I have had with my mother. I thought back when my son was a little boy and how pleasant and funny that he was. I thought of my horses and how they represented freedom to me, of how I love swimming and how I miss doing that now, dancing, singing, working in my garden, riding my bike, drawing, painting my house and constantly redecorating… on and on I remembered the joys. Then my mind kept going back to the fence that I wanted to put across the back of our property and the roof that I wanted for the back patio. And if I had some money that I should see about having my teeth fixed and then I got mad at myself for thinking about ‘accepting’ something artificial in my mouth besides real teeth…yuck. I should be able to create REAL teeth.
Slowly…because I can be a little thick sometimes…I began to recognize that I was receiving the revelation that I had been BEGGING for. I WAS experiencing Who I Am. I Am a creator and it’s okay if I create what makes me happy and it’s okay if I create in 3rd density or 4th or 5th or 6th density. It’s okay if I create on Earth or Mars or Pandora or Heaven. I Am A Creator and I have been trying to imagine myself enmeshed somehow within My Father, with no imagination of my own.
I wanted the veil removed BUT THEN WHAT? I didn’t know. All I knew was that I didn’t want the pain of this Earth hurting me anymore and I knew that My Father was my answer to my health and peace and joy. The revelation that I found myself receiving was that I Am and Can Be healed and happy and full of joy in my own individual creations. I don’t have to give that part of myself away to experience My Father’s Peace and Love.
What I found out was that I don’t have to SEPARATE myself from anything or to anything. I just need to be Who I Am wherever I care to be. I am a creator and it is within my power to BE happy and free and peaceful.
I can be a swimmer. I can be an artist. I can love my husband. I can enjoy my kids. I can collect angel statues and paint ceramic cats and ducks if that is my choice. I can plant 50 daffodils and enjoy their beauty when they bloom. I can plan to put a fence in my backyard and a roof over my patio if that is what I choose. And I can create real teeth.  What would Jesus do? Ha Ha, whatever he wants to do, that’s what he would do. Whatever the heck he feels like doing is what he does! So I guess that means that I can too.

J

If it is Easy, it is Not Valued; If it is Easy, There is No Challenge

It seems that this would be the key to the creation of this entire universe to me. If we want to play games then it makes total sense that we would make them as complicated as possible just for the fun of it. What fun is a game without a challenge? We want the challenge of trying to figure out the strategy for ourselves. We want to be the winners because we figured it out so we create the most complicated game strategies and rules that are ‘mentally’ possible for us just for the thrill! Even if it frightens us we will still watch the scary movie to see how and why Norman Bates kills the girl in the shower. ‘Secretly’ we want to feel the fear! We want to see if we can figure out the most complicated cases.
We cannot be bored or we will not play.

Excerpt from Elias’ session 228:
Question: I believe it is possible to go from nearsightedness to perfect eyesight, but I don’t know the methodology or practical procedures of doing so, and I have never met anyone who has done that.
ELIAS: And it is not necessary to objectively know the methodology. What is important to know is precisely what we have been discussing: the importance of your not wanting the sight that you have created. When that becomes less important, you will generate much more success in altering your sight. As it continues to be very important, you continue to create it.
Question: So I have to keep looking for the motive, the reason why I supposedly don’t want good eyesight?
ELIAS: Or you can simplify and merely begin to lessen the importance of what you do not like.
Question: How do you do that? It’s not easy.
ELIAS: It is not easy, for you create it to be complicated. (Laughter) But in actuality, it is quite simple and it is quite easy. But you incorporate fascinations with complicating and generating much more energy than is necessary.
If it is easy, it is not valued; if it is easy, there is no challenge. But if it is complicated, you can unravel it, and that is an action that you are all quite fascinated with.
It may be likened to a present: if an individual hands you a gift and it is unwrapped, you may accept it and you may thank them; if an individual hands you a gift and it is wrapped in paper and in strings and you must unwrap it, you will generate more excitement, for you have presented yourself a surprise. You may receive the same gift, but the one that is wrapped will be more exciting, for it is more complicated. (Chuckles)    ©2015 Mary Ennis. All Rights Reserved.

Wow, what I have learned about myself today. I understand why I do not like games. I have made the decision to back away from challenges and confrontations as much as possible as this is my final focus and I am searching for a better way, an easier way…
I am searching for TRUTH! And everything else bores me. How’s that for the ultimate oxymoron of humanity! YES!
Thank You Father… and Elias…and Yeshua, My Brother… (It feels so good to know that asking for help is a good thing. I don’t have to have all the answers myself… even though I really do I just don’t remember. That’s why I need help. Ha! Ha!)
I guess it’s somewhat funny to me to remember that I went to bed asking for help and waking up this morning with the knowing that even as Our Father loves creation and creating and we have taken on those ‘experiences’ He never meant for me to ‘forget’ who I AM in the process! That was my decision… Thus ‘the tiny mad idea’.